July 12th 20014

Hello everyone,

I haven't been here in a while, I know. I have been reluctant to write something, and I am sorry for it. However I only write down if I feel I need or want to share. This is one of the things I feel I need and want to share.

After 4 and a half year my relationship has ended. I will spare you the details but we separated as good friends. Unfortunately we recently bought a house. It might mean I have to sell it. We both decided it was best for me to stay here if possible, so I hope something can be worked out considering the law and all the legal stuff. It is a hard time for me, but I am sure I'll get on top of it real soon. I just need to have things sorted and when that's happened I'll be better than ever!

I actually am starting to feel younger again! After all I am only 26. Thing is the last couple of years I had to act older than I really am, which put a strain on me and the relationship.
I have very good friends, siblings and colleagues who are there for me and I feel both surprised and overwhelmed by the reaction and support I have gotten the last couple of days.

Do not worry about our cats, they will live with me and I will do my best to take care of them!
Josca can come by when she want to, the cats are hers too after all, but the first couple of months I think we both need a little distance.

I will definitely go out more, and I am also trying to make new friends and/or keep contact with my old friends. I also started running to lose weight and I am thinking about picking up a few dumbbells to train the muscle a bit too. Judging from this, it is time I start to act my age and live!

Of course this isn't been easy and I did have my emotional moments but when I think about it, it is for the best. We had a great time together, but eventually went separate ways. We tried to hold on to each others hands but the roads we walked were getting wider so eventually we lost grip.
We will stay friends, and we will never forget what happened and what a good time we had when it lasted.

For my own good, self development and well-being I will continue to visit the mental health care. There are a few things that I need help on and I am glad I searched help. I only had an intake conversation and a screening and I already feel that they can mean a lot for me. I hope I can improve myself and be the person I always wanted to be. I feel like I am well on my way!

Some people are surprised how I can keep so positive about all this. My view on it is the following: Fighting against it will only make things harder as you can't do anything against it. The most logical, and easy way is to accept it. This is just what I did and it will open a new chapter in my life.

I just wanted to share a quote by Sylvester Stallone's character Rocky Balboa in Rocky VI, which will explain my view on life and some of the events that happened recently:

"The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!"

Think about it..

I believe Rocky is right. A strong man will endure the hits, and when he gets back up he will strike harder than every hit he endured and will eventually emerge victorious. This is exactly what I am going to do.
I do not know that the future brings me, but I do no I am going to enjoy my life for myself and not for anyone else. Maybe that is the one thing I need to learn, but I believe I can do it and I am going into the right direction already. Life is life after all right? Nothing we can do about it except to be happy! Smile into life's direction, once it notices you, it will smile right back. Maybe, just maybe, it always smiled but you failed to see it. I hope I can inspire other people with my story and I hope everyone will find their own light in life.

Take care everyone and until next time.

Yours truly,

Mike