Hello everyone,
Let me start by apologizing for my lack of updates. I've been absent for a while.
A lot has happened recently, and I just didn't feel like updating my blog. I am sorry for this, but I hope you understand.
Let me start off by a few weeks back.
I had two weeks off and my sister Lia came to visit me. We had a great time, and I was happy there was someone in the house to talk to. Not just someone, my best friend and sister!
We went to Nijmegen, played pool twice, watched a lot of netflix, cooked together, played games together, sang together in Singstar ( I love that game ) and least but not least we went out for dinner at Sushi Koi, one of my favourite restaurants. She went back home on a Thursday evening.
The next day I had to take a good rest from my schedule that changed drastically in the past week. Normally I go to sleep at 23 and wake up at 7. There were times I went to sleep 5 in the morning! So yeah..I had some trouble with that. Unfortunately that wasn't the only thing bothering me.
Realizing I was all alone again in the house, and missing people around me I started to feel sad. Not just sad, but a beginning depression. Walked around with it for two days before I finally told myself to stop being silly. I am not alone. I've got people around me, just not here.
I did realize something though, when I have to cry there is no one around to give me a hug.
The next Sunday I woke up and found a message on facebook of a person who was supposed to be forgotten. Unfortunately I could never let that part go and it kept coming back haunting me over and over. So bad I even dreamt of this person. However I kept telling myself it would go away eventually. It didn't. In a way I was so happy this person messaged me. The person in question tried contacting me in the past over and over. I just tried to ignore it. However the more I've been ignoring it, the more the thought became present until it was even taking over my dreams.
Back to the subject I've answered the message and finally spoke to this person after a good 2 years. I was able to get rid off my demons, and I guess we both found our peace. It still meant we parted separate ways. This person still hurt me, and even though I've forgiven, I do not forget. Going separate ways is the best option here. I must say after this conversation I felt like this huge burden I've been walking around for 2 years is gone now. I'm a free man. A free man with choices not influenced by anyone else. A choice I've made myself, A choice that shows that I have my value as well. I used to think I was a nobody, someone whose opinion didn't count. Someone who was weak.
Not anymore. After my vacation I've realized how valuable I am. I am somebody!
When I started work on Monday I didn't feel that well still. However at the end of the day I figured out I missed my work and my colleagues. They both mean a lot to me. My work gives me structure in my life, something I really need for me to function properly in society. My colleagues are like my family to me. I am happy to have people around me. People to talk to, people who understand you. People who want the best for you. That's all of you, and I am happy you are there. This is for my colleagues.
Being back in my structured life I've been playing pool again yesterday too. Been there for 4 hours straight again! Gotta love it. However I was still kind of tired from the last week so around the end I started to get drowsy.
When I was back home Altair wanted attention so I started petting him. Until all of a sudden he started nibbling on my ear! Haha! These love bites of him certainly made me feel happy!
Now this morning I had a good jog again! I am pretty proud of myself! I've also lost the kg's I've gained during my vacation, and a little extra as well! I was 104,8 kg before my vacation, 106,2 kg during my vacation, and today I was 104,5! I'm glad it's going the right way!
Now today I will see Martin again and we're going to the area close to Airbase Terlet to shoot some photos. If we are lucky we will also see gliders! So all in all, a great day!
Oh before I forget..I've treated myself to Super Mario 3D World for the WiiU on friday, because I'm worth it (and I had money left from last month).
This is all for today!
Hopefully I see you guys soon! Have a great day!
Yours truly,
Mike
zondag 28 september 2014
zondag 7 september 2014
September 7th 2014
Hello everyone,
Today I'm skipping the cheesy greetings as I want to get straight to the point. I hope you don't mind.
The reason for this is because I am slightly annoyed at myself. You know that when you should have been yourself, but in the end did things to make others happy? Chances you let slip because it didn't satisfy the needs of someone else? I just had to reminisce about these things and can't help to be annoyed. Why have I never been the person I should have been? Life would have looked so much different. But then again, life wouldn't have given me the most important things that I've got now. So I guess that's a positive.
I've been losing weight gradually lately. A couple of months ago I was 116 Kg, now I am 104,8.
It's possible I've said this before, but I do want to add how I do this. First of all I start my day by eating oatmeal.Oatmeal is a very good source for fibers and it also known to be a cholesterol killer. You can probably find all the advantages if you just google it. Now I eat my oatmeal with milk, raisins and a spoon of honey. Furthermore I am keeping tabs on how much calories I eat a day. I don't eat more than 2000kcal. I keep tabs on this using a Dutch app called "Mijn Eetmeter". For the English speaking people the app "Calory Counter" is a good alternative. Combining this with jogging every sunday morning, doing push ups every other day and try to eat healthy, I've come a long way. I hope this can help anyone else out there who struggles with losing weight and balancing a healthy diet.
So like almost every saturday I was playing pool again with my buddy Martin, but Steve also joined, which was nice! Martin almost managed to shoot the white ball into a television that hung on the wall. Poor guy had to hear about that the rest of the evening, which brought us to the situation where there was a woman on the other table across from where Martin had to shoot the white ball. Let's just say we recommended him to wait to take the shot, haha!
On another table next to us, there were two women playing pool, as far as I could tell they were not really experienced players, I mean not that I am, but you could tell by how they took the shots. One of these women looked really nice, and had a nice smile. I've been meaning to go over and have a chat, however I didn't. Not because I am afraid of screwing up, not at all. More likely the fact of how to start a conversation out of the blue. Unfortunately having Aspergers doesn't help here, as we have trouble with small talk. So yeah, I decided to let this one slip and try to work on things to say. So any women out there, what do you like to hear if someone you don't know walks up to you for a chat?
My confidence isn't the problem here, so don't start talking about that please.
So today I've been watching Forrest Gump, finally! I've been meaning to see it for a couple of years now, but I never bothered to look for it on DVD. When it was on the television I always seem to miss it, but not today. It was on the telly today and I watched it. I must say I am really impressed! The film itself is brilliant, amazing and impressive. It left me with the same sort of feeling Rainman did, which is a good thing! So much that happens in that film, so many mixed emotions as well. For everyone who didn't see the film, I highly recommend you do, it's worth your time!
I just did a relaxation exercise, the one I've been talking about a couple of entries ago, it's called progressive relaxation. You practically tense up your muscles one by one, just to let go of all the tension in it. It feels great! Talking about relaxation I'd like to share this playlist with you. It might help you relax when you're feeling stressed. It is supposed to be a playlist, but unfortunately I don't think I can put the whole playlist on. Only one video... Nonetheless, here goes:
Today I'm skipping the cheesy greetings as I want to get straight to the point. I hope you don't mind.
The reason for this is because I am slightly annoyed at myself. You know that when you should have been yourself, but in the end did things to make others happy? Chances you let slip because it didn't satisfy the needs of someone else? I just had to reminisce about these things and can't help to be annoyed. Why have I never been the person I should have been? Life would have looked so much different. But then again, life wouldn't have given me the most important things that I've got now. So I guess that's a positive.
I've been losing weight gradually lately. A couple of months ago I was 116 Kg, now I am 104,8.
It's possible I've said this before, but I do want to add how I do this. First of all I start my day by eating oatmeal.Oatmeal is a very good source for fibers and it also known to be a cholesterol killer. You can probably find all the advantages if you just google it. Now I eat my oatmeal with milk, raisins and a spoon of honey. Furthermore I am keeping tabs on how much calories I eat a day. I don't eat more than 2000kcal. I keep tabs on this using a Dutch app called "Mijn Eetmeter". For the English speaking people the app "Calory Counter" is a good alternative. Combining this with jogging every sunday morning, doing push ups every other day and try to eat healthy, I've come a long way. I hope this can help anyone else out there who struggles with losing weight and balancing a healthy diet.
So like almost every saturday I was playing pool again with my buddy Martin, but Steve also joined, which was nice! Martin almost managed to shoot the white ball into a television that hung on the wall. Poor guy had to hear about that the rest of the evening, which brought us to the situation where there was a woman on the other table across from where Martin had to shoot the white ball. Let's just say we recommended him to wait to take the shot, haha!
On another table next to us, there were two women playing pool, as far as I could tell they were not really experienced players, I mean not that I am, but you could tell by how they took the shots. One of these women looked really nice, and had a nice smile. I've been meaning to go over and have a chat, however I didn't. Not because I am afraid of screwing up, not at all. More likely the fact of how to start a conversation out of the blue. Unfortunately having Aspergers doesn't help here, as we have trouble with small talk. So yeah, I decided to let this one slip and try to work on things to say. So any women out there, what do you like to hear if someone you don't know walks up to you for a chat?
My confidence isn't the problem here, so don't start talking about that please.
So today I've been watching Forrest Gump, finally! I've been meaning to see it for a couple of years now, but I never bothered to look for it on DVD. When it was on the television I always seem to miss it, but not today. It was on the telly today and I watched it. I must say I am really impressed! The film itself is brilliant, amazing and impressive. It left me with the same sort of feeling Rainman did, which is a good thing! So much that happens in that film, so many mixed emotions as well. For everyone who didn't see the film, I highly recommend you do, it's worth your time!
I just did a relaxation exercise, the one I've been talking about a couple of entries ago, it's called progressive relaxation. You practically tense up your muscles one by one, just to let go of all the tension in it. It feels great! Talking about relaxation I'd like to share this playlist with you. It might help you relax when you're feeling stressed. It is supposed to be a playlist, but unfortunately I don't think I can put the whole playlist on. Only one video... Nonetheless, here goes:
Tomorrow I'm going to take some blood samples to find out what my blood group is. I want this information because I'm planning to get myself some dogtags. That, and it might also come in handy when I ever get in an accident. The reason why I want dogtags, is because I've always liked them, and I just miss having something around my neck since I don't wear the necklace that I got from my ex anymore. The ring that was on it we pasted in our scrapbook on the final page, closing this chapter for both of our lives. Thinking back to this gets my eyes all watery, since it's still emotional, that little part. But hey, live goes on. Anyway, yeah, tomorrow morning I'll get the samples, and I hope to hear what blood group I have ASAP.
Now last but not least, and the best part I've saved for last. My sister is coming to visit me! You will probably go like; Sister? What? Well if you've read all my blog entries, there is one special person in my life who is always been there for me, in good times and in bad. Over the 8 years we know each other we've grown so close that we consider ourselves brother and sister. She really is the best friend I've ever had, and no one will be able to beat her being number one on my list.
Sis is coming to visit upcoming tuesday! I'm so excited about picking her up on the airport! Still so much I need to do to though! Clean the house and such aaaah. Actually I saved that part for tuesday morning, as it will be neater longer haha! Anyway yeah, Lia is visiting and I can't wait to see her again!!
Well this was about it for today! It's become such a long post, I'm wondering if I should become a writer! Hahaha. Well it's getting late already, so, got to go! Catch you on the flipside!
Yours truly,
Mike
Now last but not least, and the best part I've saved for last. My sister is coming to visit me! You will probably go like; Sister? What? Well if you've read all my blog entries, there is one special person in my life who is always been there for me, in good times and in bad. Over the 8 years we know each other we've grown so close that we consider ourselves brother and sister. She really is the best friend I've ever had, and no one will be able to beat her being number one on my list.
Sis is coming to visit upcoming tuesday! I'm so excited about picking her up on the airport! Still so much I need to do to though! Clean the house and such aaaah. Actually I saved that part for tuesday morning, as it will be neater longer haha! Anyway yeah, Lia is visiting and I can't wait to see her again!!
Well this was about it for today! It's become such a long post, I'm wondering if I should become a writer! Hahaha. Well it's getting late already, so, got to go! Catch you on the flipside!
Yours truly,
Mike
dinsdag 2 september 2014
September 2nd 2014
Hello everyone, welcome once again to this a-ma- wait for iiiiiiiit -zing blog!
Whaaaaaaaaat!
Okay enough with the bull. Today I visited my psychologist again. We practiced two role play scenarios. The first was me wanting her to leave "my house". First one was spot on and the discussion was won by me.
The second however was a more difficult approach. Everyone has a personal space around themselves you'd rather someone not step into -- too close to you. I found it hard to tell a person not to, resulting in me stepping backwards. This was very confronting as it reflects on my personality.
This means my boundary is high, perhaps too high. Often resulting in doing something against my will. I will need to work on this. The woman explained that if I step up a little bit it might seem as being rude, but she said for my standard I wouldn't even reach the average and people would still consider that normal.
It was a very interesting and confronting session which showed me a side of me I didn't know existed, or rather I knew, but I never knew it was like this.
It is okay to step up, it really is. So what if people will get disappointed? So what if people get angry? At least you didn't mess yourself up over it. This is the way I should be thinking sometimes, which, in fact I still find hard to do. I hope in future sessions I get the opportunity to practice more.
I would also like to take the opportunity to thank my psychologist Suzanne for the excellent work she does.
She has a certain way of helping her patients, to me it looks like she takes just that little extra step to make sure everything she does is done close to perfect. She has taught me a lot and together we came a whole way. Personally I still have a long way to go but with her being there to support me, it gives me the energy and the will to continue, as her practice makes it all worthwhile. It is always nice to see her, she is the kind of person that makes your day a bit brighter. Combining that with her way of treating her patients it is more blessing than curse to visit her. Not that it ever was a curse, not at all. Just saying that in the sense of proverb. Suzanne, you are doing a great job, and I hope you will go far the path you follow. You have a great personality, and when you combine that with the job you do, I just can't see it go wrong.
I don't think you will ever read this, but here's to you.
Last but not least I want to talk about tea. Tea? Yes, tea. Last weekend I was in the supermarket and found this tea that had a tiger on the package. I love tigers, so I decided to give the ingredients a read. Cinnamon? What the hell..I don't like cinnamon. There were some other herbs in it as well. Clove for example. Everything combined with a hint of vanilla -- that's the magic word! I decided to give it a try. The smell of cinnamon was strong, and as I said, I don't like cinnamon... I poured water in the cup, let it rest for a while. Added milk and sugar, took a zip, and wow...this warmth! The taste of cinnamon is clearly there, but for some reason I ...like it. I absolutely like it. As a matter of fact I am drinking it right now! It's so soothing and warm. You know how tiger balm smells? That is exactly how this tea tastes.
I think I've pretty much said all I wanted for today!
Hopefully I see you again next time! Take care of yourselves and see you soon.
Yours truly,
Mike
Whaaaaaaaaat!
Okay enough with the bull. Today I visited my psychologist again. We practiced two role play scenarios. The first was me wanting her to leave "my house". First one was spot on and the discussion was won by me.
The second however was a more difficult approach. Everyone has a personal space around themselves you'd rather someone not step into -- too close to you. I found it hard to tell a person not to, resulting in me stepping backwards. This was very confronting as it reflects on my personality.
This means my boundary is high, perhaps too high. Often resulting in doing something against my will. I will need to work on this. The woman explained that if I step up a little bit it might seem as being rude, but she said for my standard I wouldn't even reach the average and people would still consider that normal.
It was a very interesting and confronting session which showed me a side of me I didn't know existed, or rather I knew, but I never knew it was like this.
It is okay to step up, it really is. So what if people will get disappointed? So what if people get angry? At least you didn't mess yourself up over it. This is the way I should be thinking sometimes, which, in fact I still find hard to do. I hope in future sessions I get the opportunity to practice more.
I would also like to take the opportunity to thank my psychologist Suzanne for the excellent work she does.
She has a certain way of helping her patients, to me it looks like she takes just that little extra step to make sure everything she does is done close to perfect. She has taught me a lot and together we came a whole way. Personally I still have a long way to go but with her being there to support me, it gives me the energy and the will to continue, as her practice makes it all worthwhile. It is always nice to see her, she is the kind of person that makes your day a bit brighter. Combining that with her way of treating her patients it is more blessing than curse to visit her. Not that it ever was a curse, not at all. Just saying that in the sense of proverb. Suzanne, you are doing a great job, and I hope you will go far the path you follow. You have a great personality, and when you combine that with the job you do, I just can't see it go wrong.
I don't think you will ever read this, but here's to you.
Last but not least I want to talk about tea. Tea? Yes, tea. Last weekend I was in the supermarket and found this tea that had a tiger on the package. I love tigers, so I decided to give the ingredients a read. Cinnamon? What the hell..I don't like cinnamon. There were some other herbs in it as well. Clove for example. Everything combined with a hint of vanilla -- that's the magic word! I decided to give it a try. The smell of cinnamon was strong, and as I said, I don't like cinnamon... I poured water in the cup, let it rest for a while. Added milk and sugar, took a zip, and wow...this warmth! The taste of cinnamon is clearly there, but for some reason I ...like it. I absolutely like it. As a matter of fact I am drinking it right now! It's so soothing and warm. You know how tiger balm smells? That is exactly how this tea tastes.
I think I've pretty much said all I wanted for today!
Hopefully I see you again next time! Take care of yourselves and see you soon.
Yours truly,
Mike
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