Hello everyone,
Let me start of by saying that I did it! I made the goal I've set for myself!
I won't let you keep guessing what it is what I've done, I've completed my jogging round without stopping to walk! I'm so proud of myself :) Also I've lost weight again. I'm 103,2 kg now, going the right way!
I do notice a strain on my left knee now, which I've felt during the exercise as well, but I thought it was just the muscles. I mean it probably is the muscles, but still, didn't think it would still be there now. I'm going to have to let it rest for now.
So last Tuesday I was at my psychologist again. I've told her I didn't feel happy at one particular day 2 weeks ago. She explained that by using what she calls a thought schedule, you can analyse what is wrong and act accordingly. Because I am so kind I am going to write them out for you, who knows, it might just help you! First you write down these things on paper in this order:
Situation, Feeling, Thoughts, Behavior and Consequences.
You write down the situation, how you feel, how you think about it, how you've acted, or want to act. The latter makes a huge difference. While writing it all down you are able to clear your head and think straight not to make decisions you might regret! I've tried it only once at the moment, and I must say it really really helped me from sinking deeper! To continue, write down the consequences of what you did, or what is going to happen if your behavior keeps up.
This really helped me in a situation I will now tell you about. Let me start off by saying not to worry. I won't go into detail, but there are some huge changes in my life coming up, which I've only told my best friends. It's going to be a hard period, but by keeping my head clear I will manage.
I have a person who can advice me with it, I can talk to my psychologist about it, and I have someone who can help me in a future decision. All in all, the upcoming period might be rough, but I am going through this! When I'm done with that I'm 100% free and I can do whatever I want without anyone bothering me anymore. I will make a new start, and finally start writing the full story of my life, instead of releasing the books by chapter.
I am so happy about my thought schedules, because they can influence me to stay positive, something I haven't always been in the past. Something that scared people off as well. I've seen how it works for me, and I am ready for the next step in life as well. There are still some things I need to fix, some things I need to get under control, but once that's done I'm ready for dating again as well.
I'll be the person I always wanted to be. Years I've wondered who I really am, I was lost in myself, didn't dare to speak up. I've realized my value, I've realized my voice's worth. This is me.
Thank you for reading and I hope to see you soon again.
Yours truly,
Mike
