Still today, January 3rd 2018
How does my brain work?
Quite simple.
You have an internet browser and you open a website. You see a link and you open this in a new tab.
You continue reading the first page, but you are also interested in the second. You switch tabs.
On the second tab, you see again a link, and you click it to open in a new tab. Go back to the first website and repeat. Eventually you've read all the pages you wanted to read, but did you notice how long it took?
This is also how our brain works.
Let's say we receive information #1 that needs to go from A to E.
You would pick it up, go from A to E and then you are done. We pick it up and go to A, B, C, D and finally arrive at E to put the information in place. Do you realize the difference?
For every step you take, I have to take 10.
This is not a choice, this is my harsh reality I have to life with for the rest of my life.
What does this mean? To me it simply means that I work harder than neurotypical people. Unfortunately this is not how it looks on the outside. No. I did exactly the same as the other person, but probably slower, but also more accurate. The real question is, what do you expect from us?
Did I just take one step like everybody else? Or did I take 10 to you?
For me the answer is clear. All the information I get during a day makes me tired. Sometimes exhausted. Why?
Not only because of the disorder I've been born with, but also because I refuse to let a disorder disturb my functioning in society. That's right. I fight my "weakness" to fit in society and live up to the expectations of my surroundings.
"But I just read it makes you tired, what gives?"
Well, I want to prove to myself and my surroundings that a disorder doesn't have to be a disability.
The downside is that I try so hard, that the surroundings forget what I have to go through every single day. The downside is that I look so normal that you wouldn't guess I'd have Asperger's Syndrome.
I also hate to fall back on a disorder just like; "Oh I'm lazy, lets throw it on a disorder and enjoy lazy life." Truth however is, yes, sometimes it's hard to handle, sometimes I cannot even stand myself.
I get upset with myself, hate myself for not being able to hang on the society train of expectations and social life. This is how it is, and this ladies and gentlemen is why I still have trouble finding peace for myself.
I give more than I can handle sometimes.
I go home and cry.
I feel better.
Repeat.
But this doesn't really solve the problem, now does it?
I am aware of my surroundings. I remember your birthdays. What you told me thousand years ago.
The jar of memories, even the little things that for normal people doesn't even matter stick with me. I don't even know why. This is maybe also why I still fall back on these bad experiences every now and then, which upsets me because it may hurt my surroundings.
Point is, I am quite aware, but are you?
Have you read about Asperger's Syndrome? Have you invested time in me?
I am willing to help you do it, but you need to make the time for it. You need to be interested else it will not work. I know I shouldn't even help you with it because if you are interested in me as a person, as an employee, you already should have, but here I am, nice enough to guide you in the right direction of understanding me.
I still have trouble with things, but with your help, time, interest and understanding you can help me overcome it. Bonding with people has been hard for me given my past experiences in life.
That said, I want to give a shoutout to my fiancée Leda, and my best friends, whom I consider as family, Triantafillia & Vaggelis who have been more than kind to me.
There is love straight from the heart from these people and they really helped me feel it in my heart too.
Mr Bear, Out.
woensdag 3 januari 2018
Relapse Part II
Today, January 3rd 2018.
Given the summary of my story in the previous entry I will continue here in the present.
Recently I've come to terms with that I am far from being in peace with myself.
Sure I've come to accepted things a bit better, but I still try to fit in a world that was never made for me.
Bad experiences from the past resurface from time to time and it makes me feel left out. Left out of the whole world. Insecurities and anxiety rise. I don't want to be a part of anything anymore.
Just let me be, in my own world, the one I created. The one that accepts me as I am.
When there is tension in a person I can feel it in the air. I get insecure. Did I do something?
Will they start hitting me? Beating me? Telling me I don't belong there? Exploit me? Neglect me?
Why would they want me to be there? Nobody wants me right?
I get scared, I feel everyone wants to hurt me, I try to defend myself and completely shut out. The feelings cobble up inside of me and they won't leave until I am absolutely sure the tension is gone. Sometimes there is guilt left behind. Guilt from something that isn't even my fault, but I feel somehow I could have avoided it. If I just gave a little bit more, if I did it just a bit better...
I am dealing with misunderstanding and lack of knowledge a lot in my life. How can I live up to the world's expectations if I am not, and will never be a part of it? Yet I live in this world and its rules.
I'm too sane to be incompetent for social life, but I am also too autistic to follow in neurotypical's ways of doing things. This alone makes me a special case. Why would the world, or my surroundings for this matter adjust themselves to me? Should they? Should I contribute to this? Should they just learn how to deal with me? I don't know, you tell me.
You see, on first glance I am exactly like everybody else. I function. As a matter of fact, I am a high functioning individual. What does this mean?
Let me start with hypersensitivity and high awareness. This means I notice every little detail others might have missed or even never bother paying attention to. Sounds absolutely break me. Noticing even the slightest sound that is out of place. Also try putting the radio louder before announcing it and I will break a little on the inside. When I am asleep I hear every sound possible. However when there is a sound I do not recognize, I am wide awake. Why?
My brains don't stop working ever. Not even when I am sleeping. That's right.. I never can truly rest, and this for the duration of my life. Don't worry, I have found ways to help me, but it still means I cannot rest as good as you people do.
Next up is communication.
How does one communicate with me? For instance, tell me something with body language and I wouldn't understand a thing. Tell me with a way around and I have no idea what you try to tell me. Tell me directly and I understand perfectly. This however doesn't mean you should speak to me like a child. Just be brief and direct.
Emotions I find hard in reading them, but even more so in expressing them.
How should I react in specific situations? Chances are I feel the same as you do in a specific situation, but since I am not able to express it very well, you cannot read it from my face, or even my body language. Don't automatically assume that I don't feel. I just don't know how to express, or sometimes, even understand my own feeling.
Verbal communication doesn't work for me either. I am much better at expressing myself in writing. This way it also helps me understand my own emotions, and make sure the way of expressing myself doesn't offend you, because if you force me to verbal communicate, I blurt out the most unexpected things, which aren't always convenient to the situation at hand. I will give it a try though, if you give me the time to write my story, and don't judge me if I read the story that I wrote in front of you without looking at you.
That was a long entry right here..
Stay with me for part III for a better idea of how my brain works.
Given the summary of my story in the previous entry I will continue here in the present.
Recently I've come to terms with that I am far from being in peace with myself.
Sure I've come to accepted things a bit better, but I still try to fit in a world that was never made for me.
Bad experiences from the past resurface from time to time and it makes me feel left out. Left out of the whole world. Insecurities and anxiety rise. I don't want to be a part of anything anymore.
Just let me be, in my own world, the one I created. The one that accepts me as I am.
When there is tension in a person I can feel it in the air. I get insecure. Did I do something?
Will they start hitting me? Beating me? Telling me I don't belong there? Exploit me? Neglect me?
Why would they want me to be there? Nobody wants me right?
I get scared, I feel everyone wants to hurt me, I try to defend myself and completely shut out. The feelings cobble up inside of me and they won't leave until I am absolutely sure the tension is gone. Sometimes there is guilt left behind. Guilt from something that isn't even my fault, but I feel somehow I could have avoided it. If I just gave a little bit more, if I did it just a bit better...
I am dealing with misunderstanding and lack of knowledge a lot in my life. How can I live up to the world's expectations if I am not, and will never be a part of it? Yet I live in this world and its rules.
I'm too sane to be incompetent for social life, but I am also too autistic to follow in neurotypical's ways of doing things. This alone makes me a special case. Why would the world, or my surroundings for this matter adjust themselves to me? Should they? Should I contribute to this? Should they just learn how to deal with me? I don't know, you tell me.
You see, on first glance I am exactly like everybody else. I function. As a matter of fact, I am a high functioning individual. What does this mean?
Let me start with hypersensitivity and high awareness. This means I notice every little detail others might have missed or even never bother paying attention to. Sounds absolutely break me. Noticing even the slightest sound that is out of place. Also try putting the radio louder before announcing it and I will break a little on the inside. When I am asleep I hear every sound possible. However when there is a sound I do not recognize, I am wide awake. Why?
My brains don't stop working ever. Not even when I am sleeping. That's right.. I never can truly rest, and this for the duration of my life. Don't worry, I have found ways to help me, but it still means I cannot rest as good as you people do.
Next up is communication.
How does one communicate with me? For instance, tell me something with body language and I wouldn't understand a thing. Tell me with a way around and I have no idea what you try to tell me. Tell me directly and I understand perfectly. This however doesn't mean you should speak to me like a child. Just be brief and direct.
Emotions I find hard in reading them, but even more so in expressing them.
How should I react in specific situations? Chances are I feel the same as you do in a specific situation, but since I am not able to express it very well, you cannot read it from my face, or even my body language. Don't automatically assume that I don't feel. I just don't know how to express, or sometimes, even understand my own feeling.
Verbal communication doesn't work for me either. I am much better at expressing myself in writing. This way it also helps me understand my own emotions, and make sure the way of expressing myself doesn't offend you, because if you force me to verbal communicate, I blurt out the most unexpected things, which aren't always convenient to the situation at hand. I will give it a try though, if you give me the time to write my story, and don't judge me if I read the story that I wrote in front of you without looking at you.
That was a long entry right here..
Stay with me for part III for a better idea of how my brain works.
Relapse Part I
May 25th 1988 at 14:59
The first memory I probably have are the yellow-brownish tiles of the hospital I was born.
I don't know if this memory comes from a picture I've once seen, or the fact that I do remember the room. My memories are a bit foggy, but not strange considering the fact that this is 30 years ago.
The first few years seemed like I was living a normal life as a normal kid. At age 2 I broke the bars of my bed so I could sneak out to the living room.
However I don't think I want to talk about these memories. Lets skip a few years.
We've reached the point where it all started, or maybe even before it all started, but this period is as good as any to begin expressing.
I spent a lot of time with my mother, but there was always something I didn't really like. I just couldn't place it. Of course she was just doing her best, but I felt like my dad wasn't involved at all.
This changed after my parents divorced in 2010. More on this later.
Going to school I was always the odd one out, always different. I wanted to play with all the kids, but for some reason nobody wanted to play with me, except a few. I don't know if this is normal or not, but it bothered me that when they played with other people I didn't have anyone to play with.
This is not the only thing. Some of the kids in my class bullied me almost every day. It wasn't just calling names, they also hit me. In my mind they did that because I deserved it, because I was different. I still think I do even though I try to tell myself this is not the case.
High school was a different story, in order to fit in better I pretended to be someone else, or sometimes just didn't bother with people at all.
I never really felt motivated to do anything for school, so I used to work a lot in class so I have free time at home. The way of teaching in general never motivated me. Some of the stuff that interested me stayed with me.
The rest is not so important up to 2010.
My parents divorced and I moved out of my parents house.
The reason of the divorce can be read in one of my previous entries if you are interested. Up until this day I don't really believe everything happened as people said, but I tried to have peace with it,it is not my life after all.
The following years I believed I was happy, while in fact since age 13 or maybe even before I was quite depressed. This in pair with the mental abuse I had to endure were too much for me to handle. I went to the mental health doctors at some point and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.
(For in depth information I refer you to previous entries).
This changed my life in many ways. I understood myself better and I have a better ability to live with my environment.
For a few years I survived on my own, wondering for whatever purpose, sometimes even wondering if I shouldn't just end it. But I didn't endure all these hardships to actually do it.
After I finished my second therapy I learned a lot about myself once again. Still surviving on my own I decided to just go with the flow.
A few years passed and I met my now fiancée.
This story will follow up in the present time in Part II
The first memory I probably have are the yellow-brownish tiles of the hospital I was born.
I don't know if this memory comes from a picture I've once seen, or the fact that I do remember the room. My memories are a bit foggy, but not strange considering the fact that this is 30 years ago.
The first few years seemed like I was living a normal life as a normal kid. At age 2 I broke the bars of my bed so I could sneak out to the living room.
However I don't think I want to talk about these memories. Lets skip a few years.
We've reached the point where it all started, or maybe even before it all started, but this period is as good as any to begin expressing.
I spent a lot of time with my mother, but there was always something I didn't really like. I just couldn't place it. Of course she was just doing her best, but I felt like my dad wasn't involved at all.
This changed after my parents divorced in 2010. More on this later.
Going to school I was always the odd one out, always different. I wanted to play with all the kids, but for some reason nobody wanted to play with me, except a few. I don't know if this is normal or not, but it bothered me that when they played with other people I didn't have anyone to play with.
This is not the only thing. Some of the kids in my class bullied me almost every day. It wasn't just calling names, they also hit me. In my mind they did that because I deserved it, because I was different. I still think I do even though I try to tell myself this is not the case.
High school was a different story, in order to fit in better I pretended to be someone else, or sometimes just didn't bother with people at all.
I never really felt motivated to do anything for school, so I used to work a lot in class so I have free time at home. The way of teaching in general never motivated me. Some of the stuff that interested me stayed with me.
The rest is not so important up to 2010.
My parents divorced and I moved out of my parents house.
The reason of the divorce can be read in one of my previous entries if you are interested. Up until this day I don't really believe everything happened as people said, but I tried to have peace with it,it is not my life after all.
The following years I believed I was happy, while in fact since age 13 or maybe even before I was quite depressed. This in pair with the mental abuse I had to endure were too much for me to handle. I went to the mental health doctors at some point and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.
(For in depth information I refer you to previous entries).
This changed my life in many ways. I understood myself better and I have a better ability to live with my environment.
For a few years I survived on my own, wondering for whatever purpose, sometimes even wondering if I shouldn't just end it. But I didn't endure all these hardships to actually do it.
After I finished my second therapy I learned a lot about myself once again. Still surviving on my own I decided to just go with the flow.
A few years passed and I met my now fiancée.
This story will follow up in the present time in Part II
woensdag 8 februari 2017
February 8th 2017
Hello everyone,
In my hurry to post something new the last time I forgot to mention a few things!
First of all I had surgery done on my nose; conchotomy and a septum correction.
The surgery went well, but the first few days were troublesome as I didn't get any sleep at all.
I got to stay home for 2 weeks to rest up, and this is when I was drawing more than ever!
Now the final thing I wanted to add is that I've been visiting my good friend again and I am glad to have a good person like my friend in our lives. It makes all the difference!
It's good visiting you, and I enjoy the time we all spend together. It is great!
This was all for now, and until soon!
In my hurry to post something new the last time I forgot to mention a few things!
First of all I had surgery done on my nose; conchotomy and a septum correction.
The surgery went well, but the first few days were troublesome as I didn't get any sleep at all.
I got to stay home for 2 weeks to rest up, and this is when I was drawing more than ever!
Now the final thing I wanted to add is that I've been visiting my good friend again and I am glad to have a good person like my friend in our lives. It makes all the difference!
It's good visiting you, and I enjoy the time we all spend together. It is great!
This was all for now, and until soon!
zaterdag 4 februari 2017
February 4th 2017
Hello everyone,
It's been a while since I've written an update.
mainly because I don't feel the need to vent, which is a good thing. It means I am doing well.
I still am, actually better than ever before. Still I feel I owe you an update.
The plans of moving has been discarded for now, it's going to be a lot harder than we thought, so we moved these ideas to the future. We have been redecorating our house and put a lot of time in it. It looks so nice now, more like our place, with no remnants of the past left.
We plan to put a lot of photos and pictures everywhere. The thing I am most excited about is pictures of art that inspires us, which we want to hang in the hobby room.
Which brings us to the next subject; I have been drawing a lot lately. More practice to be honest, but it's going so well, I can see a huge improvement. The skills I've been picking up during my practice I will take with me to my "to draw" list which currently holds 48 projects.
I will also keep practicing on the side, after my current practice which is a study of materials, I will practice landscapes and cityscapes.
I am really excited about that, but the thing that worries me is that I do not have enough time to do everything I want, because I want to do everything at the same time!
Now on to another subject, last December for the Christmas days Leda's parents came over. We had an awesome time, even though it was a bit exhausting for me. I enjoyed their company and it made me feel like I am part of the family, something which I am not used to... so it's still a bit weird for me, but it feels warm at the same time. On Christmas day I picked up my dad and we had a nice family dinner all together. I can say it was the nicest Christmas I had in years. It was a bit of a pity my brother didn't come, but maybe next year.
Work isn't going as good as before, ever since the switch to the new program (and a new way of working) I lost responsibilities. The responsibilities I had made the work more challenging. Also the unrealistic goals given to us makes me indifferent about finishing my work. I am still trying hard, but I am not upset anymore if I cannot finish my work in time. This is because I know it is not my fault.
Maybe this is a good thing for me since I can let it all go and have a relaxed mind.
On the other hand the passion I once had is gone, but do I really need it? I don't think I do. I found that I'm much more worth and have much more fun in my private life now I am able to let go of all these things. What the future holds we will find out, but for now I am satisfied with how things are going. I am doing the things I have to do at work, I have energy to do the fun things I want to do at home. I say I have everything perfectly balanced.
I guess that's all there is to say for now.
See you guys another time.
It's been a while since I've written an update.
mainly because I don't feel the need to vent, which is a good thing. It means I am doing well.
I still am, actually better than ever before. Still I feel I owe you an update.
The plans of moving has been discarded for now, it's going to be a lot harder than we thought, so we moved these ideas to the future. We have been redecorating our house and put a lot of time in it. It looks so nice now, more like our place, with no remnants of the past left.
We plan to put a lot of photos and pictures everywhere. The thing I am most excited about is pictures of art that inspires us, which we want to hang in the hobby room.
Which brings us to the next subject; I have been drawing a lot lately. More practice to be honest, but it's going so well, I can see a huge improvement. The skills I've been picking up during my practice I will take with me to my "to draw" list which currently holds 48 projects.
I will also keep practicing on the side, after my current practice which is a study of materials, I will practice landscapes and cityscapes.
I am really excited about that, but the thing that worries me is that I do not have enough time to do everything I want, because I want to do everything at the same time!
Now on to another subject, last December for the Christmas days Leda's parents came over. We had an awesome time, even though it was a bit exhausting for me. I enjoyed their company and it made me feel like I am part of the family, something which I am not used to... so it's still a bit weird for me, but it feels warm at the same time. On Christmas day I picked up my dad and we had a nice family dinner all together. I can say it was the nicest Christmas I had in years. It was a bit of a pity my brother didn't come, but maybe next year.
Work isn't going as good as before, ever since the switch to the new program (and a new way of working) I lost responsibilities. The responsibilities I had made the work more challenging. Also the unrealistic goals given to us makes me indifferent about finishing my work. I am still trying hard, but I am not upset anymore if I cannot finish my work in time. This is because I know it is not my fault.
Maybe this is a good thing for me since I can let it all go and have a relaxed mind.
On the other hand the passion I once had is gone, but do I really need it? I don't think I do. I found that I'm much more worth and have much more fun in my private life now I am able to let go of all these things. What the future holds we will find out, but for now I am satisfied with how things are going. I am doing the things I have to do at work, I have energy to do the fun things I want to do at home. I say I have everything perfectly balanced.
I guess that's all there is to say for now.
See you guys another time.
zondag 7 augustus 2016
August 7th 2016
Hello,
It's been a while.
I am sure you remember my previous message; a lot has happened.
For starters I have found out that I haven't been as much in control of my own life as I thought. I lived my life trying to satisfy others' needs and let me tell you, by doing that you will end up in a downwards spiral where you have to make choices in order to live happily. Will you choose friendship, or own happiness? Sometimes your own happiness is more important, even if it means losing something you once hold dear.
It doesn't bother me at all to say that I got rid of a huge burden. The following quote sums up well enough how that friendship was for the while it lasted.
"Some people aren't loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you. Once their need changes, so does their loyalty."
When and where did it change? I don't know.
However following this eye opener I yet learned a lot about myself. I should make my own choices and not let people make them for me or force them onto me.
I did just that when I decided to message an old friend again. We spoke about all that has happened and I offered my sincere apologies.
After that it felt like we never parted ways for both of us and we are glad we are speaking yet again. This person has always been a true friend and I would be a fool to throw that away and/or not correct my mistake.
Now that's been off the table;
Personally it's going really well. We bought ourselves a nice car. A red Toyota Yaris nicknamed : "the Strawberry." which is a tribute to my favourite series: Psych, where they drive a blue one nicknamed "the Blueberry".
We are also currently enjoying life quietly and making our lives together cozy, planning ahead for the future to come. Even though it's still a while away, I can't wait to start again by building on something together. Eventually we want to move out of the apartment we live in and get ourselves a nice house and decorate it from scratch so that it truly feels like a home.
At work it's going pretty well. I am sure I showed so much of my good qualities that I'm up in the spotlights. It's not really my thing though, but they like to see your efforts, so I am doing just that. Even though to me it feels like bragging about yourself while in my eyes you are just doing your job.
I however can't help to feel proud about it.
I think this conclude the things on my mind that I needed to share.
Once again thank you for reading and see you again in a while.
-Mike
It's been a while.
I am sure you remember my previous message; a lot has happened.
For starters I have found out that I haven't been as much in control of my own life as I thought. I lived my life trying to satisfy others' needs and let me tell you, by doing that you will end up in a downwards spiral where you have to make choices in order to live happily. Will you choose friendship, or own happiness? Sometimes your own happiness is more important, even if it means losing something you once hold dear.
It doesn't bother me at all to say that I got rid of a huge burden. The following quote sums up well enough how that friendship was for the while it lasted.
"Some people aren't loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you. Once their need changes, so does their loyalty."
When and where did it change? I don't know.
However following this eye opener I yet learned a lot about myself. I should make my own choices and not let people make them for me or force them onto me.
I did just that when I decided to message an old friend again. We spoke about all that has happened and I offered my sincere apologies.
After that it felt like we never parted ways for both of us and we are glad we are speaking yet again. This person has always been a true friend and I would be a fool to throw that away and/or not correct my mistake.
Now that's been off the table;
Personally it's going really well. We bought ourselves a nice car. A red Toyota Yaris nicknamed : "the Strawberry." which is a tribute to my favourite series: Psych, where they drive a blue one nicknamed "the Blueberry".
We are also currently enjoying life quietly and making our lives together cozy, planning ahead for the future to come. Even though it's still a while away, I can't wait to start again by building on something together. Eventually we want to move out of the apartment we live in and get ourselves a nice house and decorate it from scratch so that it truly feels like a home.
At work it's going pretty well. I am sure I showed so much of my good qualities that I'm up in the spotlights. It's not really my thing though, but they like to see your efforts, so I am doing just that. Even though to me it feels like bragging about yourself while in my eyes you are just doing your job.
I however can't help to feel proud about it.
I think this conclude the things on my mind that I needed to share.
Once again thank you for reading and see you again in a while.
-Mike
vrijdag 22 januari 2016
January 22nd 2016
Hello everyone,
First of all I want to wish you a happy new year, may all your best wishes come true.
I haven't been around much lately because I have been busy quite a lot.
To begin, the company I work for hosted a party, I originally didn't intend to come, but my friends requested my absence. I liked that fact so much that I decided to go to the party after all. After ironing my best shirt and dressing up like a boss I went on my way. It was one of the greatest evenings of my life, even though it was so crowded, the music was so loud, I managed to cope and process the sensory influences without trouble! I even had a few drinks, and realized it was not so bad after all. We joined a pop quiz two times, the first time we got to be second, the second time we got to be first. I had so much fun!
Following this I invited some of my good friends, I cooked for them, had a great evening, we drank and talked, and had a lot of fun. After the last guests left I could say I was proud of myself for hosting a party like that, and hearing from everybody what a good cook I am and that they liked hanging out with me. Hearing that makes me happy, since I hardly get visitors.
It is a great boost to my person, and my social development.
As you know, a while ago I met a woman, after talking to her for some time I realized that she was the woman I needed to be with the rest of my life. We kept talking for hours, days, months. The best part of all is that I finally got to meet her last November and we decided to move in together. I took her back home. The days after I learned that she was more amazing than I ever realized.
We both believe communication is the way to maintain a healthy relationship. Listening to each other, and understanding what is on our minds. She is the sweetest person I've ever met.
We both know our future lies together.
For now I will enjoy the days to come with my soulmate.
Thank you for reading and I'll see you again soon.
Yours truly,
Mike
First of all I want to wish you a happy new year, may all your best wishes come true.
I haven't been around much lately because I have been busy quite a lot.
To begin, the company I work for hosted a party, I originally didn't intend to come, but my friends requested my absence. I liked that fact so much that I decided to go to the party after all. After ironing my best shirt and dressing up like a boss I went on my way. It was one of the greatest evenings of my life, even though it was so crowded, the music was so loud, I managed to cope and process the sensory influences without trouble! I even had a few drinks, and realized it was not so bad after all. We joined a pop quiz two times, the first time we got to be second, the second time we got to be first. I had so much fun!
Following this I invited some of my good friends, I cooked for them, had a great evening, we drank and talked, and had a lot of fun. After the last guests left I could say I was proud of myself for hosting a party like that, and hearing from everybody what a good cook I am and that they liked hanging out with me. Hearing that makes me happy, since I hardly get visitors.
It is a great boost to my person, and my social development.
As you know, a while ago I met a woman, after talking to her for some time I realized that she was the woman I needed to be with the rest of my life. We kept talking for hours, days, months. The best part of all is that I finally got to meet her last November and we decided to move in together. I took her back home. The days after I learned that she was more amazing than I ever realized.
We both believe communication is the way to maintain a healthy relationship. Listening to each other, and understanding what is on our minds. She is the sweetest person I've ever met.
We both know our future lies together.
For now I will enjoy the days to come with my soulmate.
Thank you for reading and I'll see you again soon.
Yours truly,
Mike
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