Aspergers syndrome

Hello everyone!
Welcome once again, how are you all doing? Today I just wanted to leave a short notice; yesterday I found out from my psychiatrist I have the aspergers syndrome. I had some suspicions of me being authistic because of some things I do (differently). On one hand I feel relieved to know I can't really blame myself, but on the other hand I know it will always follow me. Today I decided to look it up on wikipedia just for the heck of it.. Well, it brought tears to my eyes because I never felt so understood. I could find myself in 99% what wiki told me. Next week my treatment starts and I hope it will improve me and my shortcomings. Anyhow I felt I had to share this. Take care and sleep well.

Setbacks

Hello everyone and welcome once more.

Today I'm going to talk about setbacks. Everyone has them every now and then, some people have them all the time. Unfortunately, I'm one of the latter persons. Everytime I try to do something it doesn't work the way I want it to. When I find something new and fun to do something eventually have to spoil the fun for me.
Not at the beginning, no, someone must hate me this much that after I walked the long road to my destination, the destination doesn't seem to exist, if that makes sense. I don't mind things don't working out, but I do mind if things don't work out when you did your best and gave it your all. This makes me very sad and depressed, sometimes even make me wonder why I am still alive, and make me wonder what I did wrong in my life to keep deserving these kind of things. Why? Because it happens all the fucking time.
I'm pretty much sick of it, and makes me want to give up on everything I believe I can accomplish, I will only disappoint myself anyway.
Now with that out of the way I suppose I should feel a little better, but guess what, I do not. I feel like a piece of shit not worth anything, and my mind is so blocked of that anything you say doesn't make a difference. Things like this need time to heal, I've been knocked down too hard for me to be able to get up in one go. I need to take it step by step and eventually I'll recover.
At the moment I couldn't care less what happens in the world, for I am stuck in my own little dark world right now. After a good night sleep I probably feel a lot better and I am able to make a fresh start, but with less courage to try something new afraid of failing on it anyway.
I have to live with myself and sometimes I can't even stand myself. I hope you are more fortunate.
I think I've said all I wanted to say for today. Take care and hang in there.