Hello everyone,
Today I want to give you an update on how I have been feeling recently. I been having mild depressions the last couple of months. I also found out that I have trouble letting things go. Under this we can understand the following; an innocent conversation where I should have said something else than what I said, to bigger problems like past events, like how I've been bullied. The events keep coming back to me, at random. I feel attacked by them, I don't feel safe anymore. There is one thing that bothers me most. Out of all things, I can't let you go. You keep coming back, in my thoughts, in my dreams, things even remind me of you, simple things like they way how you did things and the way how you expressed yourself. I feel helpless. I have to let you go but for some reason my mind won't let me.
I have been to the doctors and I am getting help on this issue, April 18th is my first appointment.
Hopefully my life will get colors again, this is why I'm doing this. To help myself enjoy life once again.
So sorry if I have been troublesome the past 13 years, to you, to anyone who left me because of this, I hope that you'll understand.
Here's a little something I want to write, just to let my thoughts flow:
"He was watching the rain drop on the windows, the soft ticking made him realize that the world is one sad and lonely place. The rain is happy, as it falls down the skies, racing each other who will hit the surface first. The streets are empty, as nobody wants to get wet. I wouldn't hesitate a moment and would step outside to dance in the rain. We have something in common, while the world is gray and lonely, we are at our best. This alone gives me enough reason to live, to see it rain so hard that it brings peace inside of me. The sound and the feeling of rain makes me calm and content."
Catch you on the flipside
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