November 23rd 2013

Good day everyone,

I haven't put much here lately because I don't really have big events I want to tell you about.
However things will be different from now on. Following a tip a colleague of mine told me, just to write something down everyday just to empty your mind. He said it'll work, so I'm giving it a shot!
A couple of things has happened the past few months. My colleague's contract wasn't renewed, much to my surprise. However what I didn't know is the things he been doing and saying behind my back. In the end I am glad he's gone, as it turned out now that I did the work for 1,5 man while he did half of his own. My new colleague is a nice guy and also the guy who tipped me to write things down everyday. Me and him are pretty close now and I am happy to say that I found a friend I didn't meet via my girlfriend. Hurray!

As me and my girlfriend are having more and more trouble getting around in the month we decided we needed to move out, the rent is just too much. We decided of buying an appartement! The deal is almost square, the mortgage needs to be approved by the bank and we're good to go! If things go well we can pick up the key on December 27th.

There is another thing that's been bothering me lately, or actually two. The first is plain and simple. I am afraid of leaving dear ones behind if I was to pass away. I'm only 25 so I maybe shouldn't think about things like this, but then again you'll never know. I do think it's a sign that I should enjoy my life because in the end we all go there, so it's better to enjoy it while you are still alive. Make the best of it with your dear ones.
That's one thing that sometimes bother me, however the frequency gets lesser and lesser, now the other thing..

A while ago I've spoken about this person which I broke contact with because the person spoke behind my back, telling lies and using us whenever she could, other than that the person ignored us. That is why I abruptly broke contact, however this person kept contacting me in every way possible. After disappearing completely for this person I am being chased by guilt, nostalgia and pity. The person kept asking me why I never talked back and why I ignored them. I never told anything, I already had in the past. Warned something would happen. When it happened the person never understood, now I thought the person was just playing, but now I can't help but think the person really didn't understand. Sometimes something reminds me of this person and it comes back to me, haunts me, torments me. Something in me wants closure, something in me wants the old days back when we were still friends. However, as of lately, and right now, we aren't friends, because of what this person did. The more I try to forget everything the more it comes back. I know the best thing is just to get over it, and I want to. The back of my mind however wants a decent closure. After what happened in the past, the good and the bad things, the closure is never going to be, so I might just let it all go. Maybe one day it will stop bothering me.

One last thing I want to add to today's page is as of lately I have rediscovered Battlefield 3 again. I used to suck at it, that's why I never played, but now I seem to get better and better and I like it as much as I did like Bad Company 2 in the older days. I say I have found myself a new hobby for now! I am also trying to learn how to draw cars, because I never could, however because of BF3 the progress is kinda slow haha... well.
Time to call it a day!
See you!